


toss your dirty shoes in my washing machine heart, baby, bang it up inside

by kittytehkiller



Series: bandom [7]
Category: My Chemical Romance, The Used
Genre: Angst, Bert Thinking, Friends With Benefits, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Inferiority Complex, Making Out, Metaphors, Nature, Other, Purple Prose, Set on Warped, Sunrises, Sunsets, Unhealthy Relationships, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:00:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29516391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittytehkiller/pseuds/kittytehkiller
Summary: i’m not wearing my usual lipsticki thought maybe we could kiss tonight
Relationships: Bert McCracken/Gerard Way
Series: bandom [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2205792
Kudos: 8





	toss your dirty shoes in my washing machine heart, baby, bang it up inside

it isn’t quite dark out yet, but the sun is just starting to set in the sky. if bert was that kind of person, maybe he would write a poem about the colours touching as the sun sinks, yellow and orange and purple and crimson all bleeding into each other, each colour somehow making the next one so much prettier and so much uglier at the same time.

just like him and gerard, bert catches himself thinking, immediately feeling a strange sense of guilt for even allowing the thought to enter his mind. but gerard’s colours, at least to bert, never seem to blur or bleed at all, no matter how violently, how passionately (at least on bert’s part) they and bert collide. 

deep down, bert knows exactly why that is. he knows it’s because gerard doesn’t love him, not like he loves them. when they lean in to kiss him, their soft lips tasting of sweat and makeup and the alcohol gerard and bert both know they need to stop swallowing as though it were air, gerard is always smiling in a way that suggests that they’re having fun, but that, at the same time, there’s a lack of deeper, painful feelings there, and they never look like they feel it hurts to pull away when the kiss ends. so different from the feelings bert has, so real and raw that they scare him, so different from the way it hurts bert.

bert is glad that gerard doesn’t have to feel like their heart is splitting in two, glad that they have a better chance than him. he knows that one day, not too far in the future, gerard will leave him behind, make better friends and kiss better people. their band will probably be far more successful than bert’s ever will. bert isn’t sure how or why he knows this; he just does. maybe it’s because gerard is just so goddamn talented and so goddamn pretty that bert knows they’ll be something more than this.

and then bert realizes that maybe gerard isn’t one of the colours in the sunset at all. maybe, he thinks, they’re the sun itself. maybe only bert is a colour, showing up for only a moment in the sky when gerard comes and leaves each morning and each evening, only to blur and disappear.

“hey, sugar, what’re you looking at?”, gerard asks, their beautiful voice breaking bert out of his thoughts. “the sunset,” bert sighs, smiling a little, and it isn’t technically a lie, and bert knows he won’t have gerard here with him for very long, so he wants to make the best of it, “it’s really pretty tonight.” bert wants so badly to kiss them. but he doesn’t do it.

**Author's Note:**

> “kitty,” i beg myself. “please either do your schoolwork instead of writing more fic or at least add to one of ur two or three unfinished oneshot collections if u have to write fic rn”
> 
> “hehehehe gerbert angst go eeby deeby”, i respond


End file.
